When Negotiating Be Sure to Wet Down Before Diving In

Negotiating is the ultimate challenge for any leader and being good at it is essential for success. A lesson can be learned from successful competitive swimmers. They always “wet down” by splashing water from the pool onto themselves before a race in order to acclimate themselves to the specific venue. This avoids the shock syndrome when they dive in. They are already expert at their racing strokes, breathing, pacing and flip turns. Even so they always “wet down” first, if they want every competitive advantage. The purpose of this article is not only to remind you to always “wet down” before a negotiation, but also the basics to be mindful of during the process no matter how expert and experienced you are. Warm up and get mentally “wet down” by keeping the following splashes in mind:

The Dolphin Approach

You don’t have to be a shark to succeed. The dolphin approach is better. The difference is one of style. While sharks try to intimidate people, causing fear and mistrust, dolphins genuinely like people. They are confident, energetic and assertive, but they don’t try to manipulate their opponents with negotiating ploys and gambits. They set out to accomplish straight forward goals and often outmaneuver the sharks because they are so aware of their menacing ways.

The Biggest Fallacy

It’s a fallacy that the more powerful opponent has all the advantages in a negotiation. You can use your opponent’s strength to your own advantage. You gain leverage by involving the other party in the negotiating process, by making them feel they are helping to create the solution.

The Importance of Body Language

Successful negotiating is not all talk. More than half of how you are perceived is non-verbal. How you walk, carry yourself, your voice inflections, manners and demeanor all give signals to your opponent. Within the first few minutes, everyone has sized-up everyone else. Those vital first impressions set the tone for the rest of the negotiations, whether they last two hours or two days.

Start by Reducing the Tension

There is always tension at a negotiation. I’ve found that small talk is one of the best ways to start the wetting down process. I recall a real estate negotiation in which the Seller sent a young lawyer. I commented on his youth and that the Seller must have great confidence in him and asked him to tell me about himself and his background. He became very relaxed and friendly as a result. People love to talk about themselves. It’s less threatening and a topic upon which they are expert. Usually you find a common interest, anything from stamp collecting to tennis that you can use to dwell on momentarily to establish a mutual comfort zone.

On occasion I’ve come to the negotiating table and the other party immediately took the “King of the Hill” attitude by saying something as, “Let’s start by getting right down to business. To save time here’s a list of non-negotiable items.” When that occurs you can be reasonably certain you have the upper hand. Why? Because those type people fear to negotiate and negotiate out of fear, no matter the bravado they seem to radiate. They don’t want to go through the process to have to see another view point that they may be persuaded to cave-in on and know they are vulnerable.

On the other hand hang onto your wallet when you hear, “Well, I’m just a country boy, not real experienced in all of this like you. So, you might have to take me by the hand through this so I can understand it a bit better.”

In whatever scenario you find yourself be sure you are prepared and especially that you are acclimated by “wetting down” just before the major event begins.

Buying a Timeshare – Don’t Give in to High Pressure Tactics at Timeshare Presentations

Timeshares, also known as fractional ownership, is something that has been around since the first extended family decided to save on the cost of their vacation by sharing the cost of renting a cottage or vacation property.

One of the ways that timeshares are commonly sold is through presentations. I was at one of these and was swayed by the gorgeous photos and the eloquent sales pitch and the endorsement of a lovely, well-dressed, middle-aged couple who were owners. There was also the additional pressure on me because a person I worked with had invited me and I did not want to appear to be questioning her judgment.

I actually bought into the timeshare, but the next day my sense returned and I quickly scrambled into action to figure out how I could get out of the deal. Fortunately, most states have protection in place for buyer’s remorse and I was able to rescind my purchase within a couple of days. Eventually I actually bought two timeshares, but on the resale market and not from a developer and the two of them together cost me much less than that one alone would have cost me.

If you do go to a presentation, be aware that these are the types of psychological pressures you have facing you. There is an aura of people with money who have the resources available to jet off to an exotic resort, there is a lot of hype that excites the part of you that wants to be on the glamorous locale that is being sold. Oh and on top of this, there is the reminder that this is a golden opportunity that is about to slip through your fingertips and won’t you feel silly when it does.

While this might be a perfectly legitimate timeshare opportunity, here is rule number one in avoiding being taken advantage of or spending too much money: Never buy a timeshare on the spot. If it is a good deal, it will still be there tomorrow and the next day. It certainly will be there after you’ve had an opportunity to do a little research online. These are perfectly legal presentation tactics, not unlike what you’ll find at your local car dealer, but if you are cautious you will be much less likely to come out of it with a bad deal on your hands and a hard hit to your wallet.

Some other things to watch out for in shopping for timeshares include being wary of prizes. Especially prizes that ask that you only to pay the shipping and handling. Rule number two: Never pay for anything while you are just looking at timeshares. If they are offering you a digital camera as a prize, trust me — it’s going to be a crappy no-name brand camera, not a Sony. If they are offering you a deal on accommodation, you can probably do better using Orbitz or Priceline. Remember, whatever they are offering, it isn’t free if you have to spend money.

Let common sense prevail. Do not allow yourself to be pressured into a decision and take your time before signing on the dotted line. There are literally thousands of timeshares available for resale all over the world so you won’t be missing out on anything by not signing up immediately.

5 Positive Affirmations For Fearless Presenting

If you’ve been feeling afraid to speak in public and don’t have time to take a presentation skills training… find out 5 affirmations you can use, starting now.

Aspiring entrepreneurs, students just out of college, experienced and novice professionals alike often share a single trait in common. The fear of speaking in public. Nervous jitters about speaking to a group of people.

If you’ve ever felt like this, today is the day all that changes.

Here are a couple of affirmations: Today is the beginning of my new life. Today is the day I will present without fear. These are positive statements, which are true…starting right now.

As you may be familiar with, positive thinking and affirmations are powerful tools to change one’s state of mind. When facing a persistent fear, it helps to know the ‘inner game’ or mindset that is most effective in dissolving this fear.

That ‘game’ is affirmations. By repeatedly focusing on positive statements, positive feelings and positive outcomes, guess how you feel? Positive! Happy. Ready to take on the world.

Naturally, the reverse is true too. By repeatedly focusing on negative statements, negative emotions, and negative outcomes, guess how will you feel? Awful. That’s why it is really no surprise that by repeating the mantra, “I hate presenting” over and over, many people create a negative trance state. The natural outcome of repeating this phrase is feeling bad, hating presenting, and being filled with fear.

The choice is clear. Do you want to cultivate the habit of positive thoughts and outcomes-or negative ones? Because you’re reading this article, it is clear you want to build a new positive habit about speaking in public.

Use these 5 affirmations to create a positive state of mind and a powerful open attitude about public speaking.

1. Today is the beginning of feeling at ease in front of people.
2. I am starting to feel confident speaking in front of people today.
3. I am grateful to be sharing ideas and speaking in front of people.
4. I am speaking with passion and purpose today.
5. Today is the best day to speak up in front of people.

What do you notice about these statements? They are very positive. They are focused on current feelings. They invoke a feeling of possibility, options and transformation.

Also, notice one other thing. You can start saying them right now. You don’t have to ‘do something first’ to get ready. Simply saying these phrases and thinking these thoughts invites an open state of mind.

Of course, you may choose to get support for your new attitude. This is a natural outcome of developing a positive mindset. Just consider it a positive effect that you want to learn new skill sets and gain new tool sets.

While you are practicing your attitude, surround yourself with positive influences. Hang out with people who enjoy speaking in public. Get to know people who like to present ideas. Go online and find presentation skills trainings. Read articles and watch videos about visual storytelling.

The more you surround yourself with positive input, the better you will feel.

See, you can transform the fear of public speaking into the joy of sharing ideas. As you focus on all the good things in life, and in your life, make speaking to others part of the things you are giving thanks for.

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